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recover money your spouse spent on an affair

Can You Recover Money Your Spouse Spent on an Affair Partner?

Infidelity is a prevalent marital issue that can have a severe psychological and emotional impact on the loyal spouse. To make matters worse, it’s possible that the cheating spouse spent a considerable sum of money on their affair partner.  

If this is the case, you might be asking if you can get back the money your spouse spent on their extramarital affair partner. The quick answer is yes, but it’s not an easy procedure. 

In this article, we’ll look at what you can do to recover money your spouse spent on an affair partner and the best course of action.


Spending money on extramarital affairs is known as dissipation. Dissipation in divorce refers to the improper use or wasteful spending of marital assets by one spouse during the process of divorce. While this article will focus on dissipation in the situation of an affair, it can also occur when one spouse spends money on non-marital purposes, such as excessive gambling, lavish vacations, or expensive purchases.

Dissipation can be a significant issue in divorce cases because it can have a negative impact on the overall distribution of assets. In many jurisdictions, marital assets are divided equitably or equally between spouses during divorce proceedings. However, if one spouse has dissipated assets, it can affect the fair division of property and financial resources.

To address the issue of dissipation, courts may take several factors into consideration:

  1. Timing: The court may examine the timing of the spending and determine whether it occurred around the time the marriage began to break down or after the divorce proceedings had begun.
  2. Purpose: The court may evaluate the purpose of the spending. If it can be shown that the spending was intended to deplete marital assets and deprive the other spouse of their fair share, it may be considered dissipation.
  3. Amount: The court may consider the amount of money spent and whether it was excessive or unreasonable in light of the couple’s standard of living and financial circumstances.

If the court determines that dissipation has occurred, it may adjust the division of assets to compensate the non-dissipating spouse. This can be done by awarding a larger share of the remaining assets or by requiring the dissipating spouse to reimburse the other spouse for the dissipated amount.

It’s important to note that the specific laws and guidelines regarding dissipation in divorce can vary between jurisdictions. If you are going through a divorce and suspect dissipation, it’s advisable to consult with a family law attorney who can provide guidance based on the laws applicable in your jurisdiction.

Acquire Proof

In order to seek a dissipation claim, you will need to gather evidence of the affair and the costs incurred before you can take legal action against your husband. This proof can include emails, text messages, hotel receipts, and credit card statements. Although gathering this information might be a painful and challenging process, it is necessary to develop a compelling argument.

Once you get the proof, you must prepare it and give it to your lawyer. Your attorney may also need to hire a private investigator or forensic accountant to gather additional evidence. Keep in mind that the information you gather can be used to strengthen your case if you intend to file for divorce.

Size Matters

Once you get an understanding of the amount of money that your spouse spent on extramarital affairs, you should work with your attorney to determine if it makes sense to pursue a dissipation claim. It could cost tens of thousands of dollars to pursue a dissipation claim between the attorney fees and other professional fees (private investigator, forensic accountant, etc.). You will want to make sure there is evidence of significant dissipation to justify the expenses for pursuing this claim. 

Next Steps

If your attorney feels there is enough evidence for a sizable dissipation claim he/she will decide the best route for making this information known to your spouse and/or his attorney. This process could look very different depending if you are in mediation or working through the courts with your divorce. Ultimately either you and your spouse will need to come to an agreement on the amount of dissipation that will be paid or a judge will determine this. 

Work with us

It’s important to have a team of professionals on your side. At Purposeful Wealth Advisors, we understand the emotional toll that infidelity can take on a person, and we’re committed to helping our clients recover the assets they’re entitled to. Our team has the experience and expertise to help you navigate this difficult time and achieve a successful outcome.

If you’re in this situation, don’t hesitate to contact us. Wherever you are in the process, we’ll work closely with you to help you operate from a position of greater knowledge, strength, and confidence. 

Schedule a consultation today! We’re here to help you get the justice and compensation you deserve.