Divorce is not something most women plan for or have experience navigating. Yet one of the most consequential decisions you will make during this season often happens very early: choosing the professionals who will guide you through it.
In Stronger Than You Know, I write about the importance of surrounding yourself with the right support before decisions start compounding. The divorce team you build becomes the framework that holds everything else together – your financial security, your emotional steadiness, and your ability to move forward with clarity rather than fear.
What follows is a practical, grounded guide to the professionals every woman should have in her corner, and how to know who to trust.
The Most Common Mistake: Hiring the Wrong Professional First
One of the biggest mistakes I see women make is choosing the wrong professional at the very beginning. When divorce suddenly becomes real, most people do what feels natural: they ask a friend, neighbor, or colleague who has been through a divorce who their attorney was. If that person liked their attorney, the assumption is that this must be a good choice.
The problem is simple but significant: not all divorce professionals are right for all divorces.
Even within family law, attorneys have very different strengths, styles, and philosophies. Some are exceptional in cases involving minor children and custody dynamics. Others are far stronger when a divorce involves complex financial structures, executive compensation, business interests, trusts, or multiple real estate holdings.
There are also meaningful differences in temperament. Some attorneys are highly aggressive litigators. Others are skilled negotiators who prefer collaboration or mediation. None of these approaches are inherently right or wrong, but they are not interchangeable. Choosing the wrong fit for your situation can cost you time, money, and emotional energy.
Understanding the Right Path for Your Divorce
Before you can choose the right attorney, you need at least a preliminary understanding of what path makes sense for your divorce.
Many women are drawn to mediation because it sounds calmer, faster, and less expensive, and in many situations, mediation can work very well. However, in high-conflict divorces or cases where trust has been compromised, mediation can actually prolong the process and increase costs.
What many people do not realize is that most attorneys have a preferred path. Some strongly favor mediation or collaborative law. Others default to litigation. In practice, one of the most effective approaches for many financially complex divorces is a litigation framework with extensive negotiation between attorneys, often allowing clients to avoid trial while still maintaining structure and leverage.
When meeting with an attorney, it is essential to ask how they typically approach divorce and how they believe your specific circumstances fit into that approach.
How to Know if an Attorney is the Right Fit
Divorce law involves unfamiliar terminology, legal strategy, and financial complexity. It is normal to feel uncertain walking into an attorney’s office. What is not normal is to leave feeling small, dismissed, or disempowered.
Pay close attention to how you feel after the consultation. The right attorney should help you feel steadier, clearer, and more capable – even if the road ahead is difficult. You do not need to understand every detail, but you should feel respected and supported.
It is also important to understand the structure of the firm. In many successful practices, the attorney you initially meet may not be the person handling every aspect of your case. Ask who will be involved, how decisions are made, and how work is delegated among partners, associates, and paralegals. A well-structured team often leads to greater efficiency and better outcomes.
Cost Matters, but it Should not be the Deciding Factor
Another common mistake is choosing an attorney based primarily on cost. While it is important to understand fees and billing structures, selecting the least expensive option often proves costly in complex divorces.
More experienced attorneys typically work more efficiently. They do not need to research issues they have handled many times before, and they know how to anticipate problems before they escalate. In addition, strong attorneys often leverage team members with lower billable rates for appropriate tasks, which can control costs without sacrificing quality.
The goal is not to hire the most expensive attorney, it is to hire the right one.
The Other Professionals Every Woman Should Have in her Corner
A Therapist
Divorce is not only a legal or financial process, it is an emotional one. Having a trusted therapist provides a dedicated space to process grief, anger, fear, and uncertainty. From a professional standpoint, I am always more concerned when someone is navigating divorce without this support. A good therapist helps regulate emotions so decisions can be made from a place of clarity rather than reactivity.
A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®)
A CDFA® plays a critical role in financially complex divorces. Our responsibility is to understand the full financial picture – assets, income, liabilities, tax implications, and future cash flow – and translate that information into clear, actionable guidance.
A CDFA® can assist with tasks that many individuals find overwhelming: gathering financial documents, understanding tax returns, completing financial affidavits, and evaluating settlement options. While attorneys focus on legal strategy, a CDFA® ensures that financial decisions are informed, realistic, and aligned with your long-term goals.
An Accountant
In cases where detailed tax analysis is required, such as business income, capital gains, or post-divorce tax planning, a CPA can provide valuable expertise alongside the divorce team.
A Forensic Accountant
Forensic accountants are sometimes necessary when financial complexity goes beyond standard analysis. This may include extensive asset movement, business valuations, offshore entities, trusts, or concerns about hidden assets or cryptocurrency accounts. Their role is investigative and highly specialized.
A Divorce Coach
Divorce coaches can be particularly helpful early in the process. They serve as an objective third party, helping women clarify priorities, prepare for difficult conversations, and make decisions without being overwhelmed by emotion. In some cases, a coach can help prevent costly missteps before they happen.
A Valuation Expert
An experienced valuation professional may also be an essential part of the divorce team when illiquid or hard-to-value assets are involved. This includes closely held businesses, professional practices, private equity interests, and certain real estate holdings. A qualified valuation expert provides an objective, defensible assessment of value, which is critical for informed negotiations and equitable settlement decisions.
Trust Both Expertise and Intuition
Building the right divorce team requires both objective evaluation and intuition. Credentials, experience, and specialization matter, but so does how supported you feel. You are not locked into a decision forever, but changing professionals midstream can be difficult and disruptive.
This is where working with an experienced financial divorce professional early on can make a meaningful difference. An experienced CDFA® can help clients evaluate their options and assemble a team aligned with their needs from the start.
Divorce is a season of transition, but it is also a foundation-setting moment. With the right professionals in your corner, you can move forward informed, supported, and stronger than you know.
Next Steps
If you are navigating a high-net-worth or financially complex divorce and want a deeper understanding of how to approach this season with clarity and confidence, I invite you to begin with the foundation. Click here to download the first chapter of Stronger Than You Know, which can help you think strategically, assemble the right support, and make informed decisions that support both your financial future and your sense of self.
Investment advisory services are offered through Keating Financial Advisory Services (KFAS), an SEC-registered investment adviser. Advisory services are provided only pursuant to a written agreement and Form ADV Part 2A.
Outcomes vary depending on individual circumstances. No results are guaranteed, and financial decisions should be made based on a complete review of each client’s personal situation
The CDFA® designation is a financial planning credential. CDFAs are not attorneys and do not provide legal advice. The role of a CDFA® is to provide financial clarity during divorce proceedings and support attorneys with data-driven insights.
